FUNNY FRIDAY!!!

IT’S FRIDAY!  We’re excited to close out another work week, and what better than to close it out with a little bit of humor.  Kenzie sent this to me months ago and I LITERALLY was laughing out loud!  And as I was going through funny pins that I’ve found, this one popped up again and had the same affect.  Thank you to theamericankid.com for posting this!

❤ Dani

LT Dan

 

I love to get muddy!

Mud Run-Nov Mud Run-Nov2 Mud Run-Nov3

As many know, I have an obsession with Mud Runs!  I don’t think I can do a regular run where there are no obstacles and/or mud to trek through!  But one of the biggest issues I had in the past was getting the dried and caked on mud off of me in the weak showers you can take there.  This recent one I did was the Dirty Girl Mud Run in Dade City… and this time… I came prepared!!!  I brought a Simple Sugar Pumpkin Pie Scrub and it worked AMAZING and I even smelled yummy after.  But to top it all off.. I also brought my Tired Eyes Solution to clean my face off after also and I felt very clean and refreshed… not so much like the other 2 I’ve done throughout this year.  I think now for every Mud Run I do, I will be bringing a scrub and my Tired Eyes!  OH.. .and in the first mud pit I lost my Two Simple Owls Bees Knees Lip Balm.. I hope that if it didn’t go in the trash or lost in the mud pit, that it went to a good home! ❤ Dani

We Want To..

 

Our WantsEvery time we sit down to have a business meeting and assess the month that just passed and the month we’re going into, we stop and list our wants.  These are our wants.  We want to heal, educate, and make honest products!… and in that order!

We truly want to help people on every level.  Mackenzie has goals of completing courses in Nutrition and to become a Master Herbalist and Danielle has goals of becoming a Physician and practice in Natropathy and also become a Master Herbalist.

We find things out every day and we want to share our knowledge with everyone.  We want to teach you how to make things yourself and to learn more about the ingredients you are using.

And last, but not least, we want to make honest products.  We want to make products that you can trust, no matter what country you live in!  We want products that you know will be safe for you and not just because the FDA has approved a “certain amount” of “something” to be in it.  Some of our products may only last 30 days, but that’s because we’re not pumping them up with artificial preservatives so it can sit on your shelf for months at a time.

So when you see the name Two Simple Owls, you know that you are not only getting an honest product, but you have people building a company that want to heal and to educate.

Couldn’t have said it better myself!

A dear friend of mine posted this on the beloved site of Facebook and it’s aaaaamazing!  I couldn’t have said it (or written it) better myself!  It’s a must read for those who are wanting kids, thinking about having kids, and most definitely a good laugh for those who have kids already!

Click the link here to go directly to the website and read the story directly from mail online.. or read below!

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Most broody mothers see having a child as a wonderful gift from God but one blogger has set about putting paid to that ideal.

A candid parent test highlighting the high and lows of motherhood is taking the internet by storm after being reposted on countless mothering blogs.

The Test For Future Parents by author Colin Falconer comprises 14 steps to follow before you have children and was originally printed in his book ‘A beginners guide to fatherhood’ in 1992 before finding its was on to parenting blogs in the UK, most recently Mamami by Chet, who was sent the parenting test by a friend.

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Test 1: Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.

2. Leave it there.

3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself

2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

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Test 2: Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.

Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.

Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

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Test 3: Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 – 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.

2.  At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.

4. Set the alarm for 3am.

5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.

6. Go to bed at 2.45am.

7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.

9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.

10. Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

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Test 4: Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

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Test 5: Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.

2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.

3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.

4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.

5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

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Test 6: Going for a walk

a. Wait.

b. Go out the front door.

c. Come back in again.

d. Go out.

e. Come back in again.

f. Go out again.

g. Walk down the front path.

h. Walk back up it.

i. Walk down it again.

j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.

k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.

l. Retrace your steps.

m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.

n. Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

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Test 7: Conversations with children

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

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Test 8: Grocery Shopping

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child – a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.

2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.

3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Feeding your child isn’t as easy as it looks according to the test

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Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon

2. Make a small hole in the side

3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side

4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.

5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.

6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

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Test 10:TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.

2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

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Test 11:  Mess

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

Are you up to the challenge of parenthood asks this hilarious blog post

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains

2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?

4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.

5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.

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Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting ‘Mummy’ repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.

2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

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Test 13:Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.

2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

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Test 14: Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.

2. Put on your finest work attire.

3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it

4. Stir

5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt

6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture

7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel

8. Do not change (you have no time).

9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

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Positive or Negative?

PosLifeNegMindThis is very true!!  We need to understand that our thoughts affect how we act, feel, and treat others.  How can you life a positive life when you’re thinking negative thoughts.  I’m (Danielle) currently reading this book “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer and it’s amazing.  I love these types of self-help books and actually a bit of an addict when it comes to them.  I’m constantly looking for ways to improve myself and how to help others.  I guess that goes back to our reasons for starting up the Two Simple Owls; always wanting to help others and to inform them.  I hope many of you will read this today and let it take root.  Have a great day today and know that the weekend is coming soon 😉

Ready for Winter in FL

Ready for Winter in FL

Mimco silver jewelry
$58 – mimco.com.au

Forever New chronograph watch
$29 – forevernew.com.au

By Malene Birger leather handbag
$700 – bymalenebirger.com

Boody black scoop neck shirt
$39 – theiconic.com.au

Fat Face henley shirt
$35 – fatface.com

J Brand skinny jeans
$405 – julesb.co.uk

Aéropostale blue shoes
aeropostale.com